pen_grunt: (Marriage Doom)
Reverend: So you guys have written your own vows, right?
Us: Uhh...yes.
Reverend: Do you want to go through them?
Me: Well, we don't have them done yet.
Reverend: It's the day before the wedding...
Me: *shrug* I've had tighter deadlines.
Reverend: *shrug* I guess you are in the biz. I'll keep a backup of the standard vows just in case.

And now, our vows are done. I'm gonna make my mom cry, and thus my goal for the day shall be accomplished.

Less than 24 hours to go and I'll be a Mrs.
pen_grunt: (Marriage Doom)
I've had a lot of things happen in the last few days, and practically no inspiration to write about them. Still, I feel like I should be recording and sharing things somehow, so here's a half-written (and now supplemented) thing. More shall trickle out later, I suspect:

Bureaucracy at it's peak )
Where do people get off assuming that others are supposed to know everything about something they've never done before and are only going to (hopefully) do once in their lives? Am I supposed to memorize marriage license requirements and then forget all that now-irrelevant information after the wedding? I don't think so. Be a little nicer about first-time experiences people. It really wouldn't kill y'all.
pen_grunt: (Psychiatric help #2)
I wonder if other brides think the way I do in general. I'm guessing probably not.

A (very) small group consisting of my sister, cousin and I are going horseback riding for sort of a bachelorette party. I'm not such a traditional bachelorette, and getting plastered at the bar seems like something that would be more fun with Derrick anyway (not that I've ever done this--but it seems like a couples activity). I applaud my bridesmaids' choice of activity as unique and quite potentially very fun.

So I'm going horseback riding. I've never been on a horse before (there was this incident where a horse sort of "ran off" with my mom once, and I'm kinda freaked about them ever since--though I have cared for horses alone for extended periods of time, I've never been on one). I'm going to break something.

And all I can think of (in a very calm, very matter-o-fact way) is whether I'd rather sit on the wedding dress in the wheelchair, or have it cut around the wheelchair so I'd look like a very short levitating bride sort of gliding down the aisle.

I think the latter, no?
pen_grunt: (Coppertone Girl)
Only one month. Holy f*ck. Only one month.

And so far, most of my answers to questions have been, "Uhh, I dunno." Which, I suspect, is not such a good thing.

An RSVP anecdote:

We get an RSVP back from one of Derrick's obscure relatives out of state saying that they can't come but, "gift and note to follow." Which, I think, is kinda weird since you don't EXPECT people to send gifts--especially if they're not coming. Derrick peeks over my shoulder after I give this anecdote and says, "Oh, that's my great uncle so-and-so. He's cool. He designs the computer chips that guide smart missiles. Too bad he can't come."

From this I can conclude that if a toaster blasts through our front window one of these days (with a note, no doubt), it must be from that uncle.
pen_grunt: (Marriage Doom)
I've realized that writing out Thank-You notes is kinda like doing old fashioned Mad Libs (you know, the books where you had to fill in a "part of speech" without context and it made a completely ridiculous story...because everyone like to use "toilet" et. al. as their primary nouns).

Go ahead, try it out:

Dear __________ (Family Member)

Thank you SO much for the ______________(adjective) _________________(noun--household item)!

I love it because it's ________________(adjective), and it will help me _______________(verb/verb phrase).

Derrick loves it because ______________ (humorous reason to love something inanimate).

We'll use it _________ (frequency) to ______________ (action verb).

It was ____________(adjective) seeing you/missing you (select one) at the shower. We're looking forward to seeing ____________(family members) at the wedding, it should be ____________(adjective).

Lots of love,

Missy (and Derrick too!)(Or insert your name here)
pen_grunt: (Marriage Doom)
Bridal showers are a unique form of torture for the introverted. Particularly when said introvert tends to get progressively nervous in large groups of people that are all talking about different things in several conversation pairs whilst sitting around the introvert. Then subject said introvert to giggling aunts and games, and the feeling that everyone is constantly watching everything they say and do (which, to be fair, they were), and the bridal shower torture is complete. I suppose, for me, the "shower" is one slow Chinese-water-torture drip.

It's rather heinous having to open gifts and trying to consciously make sure that the facial expressions aren't TOO pleased, or TOO surprised, or forced in general. I found myself saying things that I hear other people say all the time...little comments like, "Oh, this wrapping paper is adorable!" Like anyone really gives a flying f*ck about wrapping paper...do real people actually talk like that? I felt like a little kid, mimicking what the adults in my life had said, and saying what I thought they expected me to say to fill in conversation space.

Please, don't let me become one of those people who is really, truly, impressed by wrapping paper enough to comment on it--or rather, who has nothing better to fill the void, so they comment on the only thing they have in their hands (the wrapping paper).

But it's done. It's over now. One down, one to go (yeah, that church shower is NOT happening).

On the plus side, I always love going to Derrick's parents' farm. It's very calming above all the people, that is.

Edit: I realize this sounds ungrateful. It's not meant to be, I appreciate the effort and the shower and such, and that my future-relatives like me enough to want to give and come to a bridal shower for me. . . it's just...not within my comfort zone. That, and I really didn't have a choice in the matter.
pen_grunt: (Can't Brain Have the Dumb)
I'm having a serious nobody-loves me, everybody-hates me, guess I'll go eat worms day. General angst and crankiness abounds.

Maybe it's partly Monday...and I desperately needed another day this weekend to get things done (that, and it was GORGEOUS out both weekend days and today).

It's a little bit boss related--what, with him snapping at me for asking him politely to NOT do something. ("Don't tell me what to do!") It's not easy working with someone who is entirely (yes, entirely) self absorbed.

It's somewhat work related. If you're not a writer, and you admit to not being good at writing, STOP rewriting my stuff so that I have to edit it back AGAIN. Additionally, yes, I know that you said this office would be fine when people started using the kitchen again, but I can still hear Tyra blaring from the TV for an hour or two during various peoples' lunch breaks. You lied work, you lied.

It's partly dealing with family yesterday (although that's good and bad--my adorable niece balances out the neuroticism). Dealing with family, of course, means dealing with a million, "I have your aunt's old cake topper from the early 90's--come see if you want it" offers. And a bunch of, "Are you nervous about the wedding yet?" questions. (No, I wasn't...but because you ALL seem to think I should be, I'm kinda getting there.)

It's a little bit wedding junk (having a lot to do, giving up early in my favor assembly this weekend out of sheer boredom).

It's a little bit not having a working treadmill. I did run outside on Saturday, and it was wonderful...but tough. Somewhere in my neurotic little head I decided to do hills. I hate myself a bit for that. Now I need to convince Derrick to run with me for the rest of the week so I'm not stuck in the yucky-neighborhood running alone at night.
pen_grunt: (Modern Times)
True, official statements:

--I've been cavity-free since 1983. That is to say, I've never had one, but the little slogan is catchy, no? I really don't mind going to the dentist, but then again, I've never had pain at the dentist and they DO have neat reclining chairs.

--My treadmill is my crack/addiction. The treadmill broke (bearings in the rollers just decided to disconnect) and there's no way that Derrick can fix it without the proper replacement parts (yeah, I know, duct tape fixes anything EXCEPT when you're going to be bouncing on it for 1 1/2 hours each day at various inclines). We look online for parts. He turns to me, "Well, the total cost is going to be $94 with the roller and a new belt that we've needed for a while."

I froth at the mouth. "I don't care how much it costs, just order it NOW. Do they have overnight shipping?"

See. Like crack. Gotta have it now, don't care how much it costs. So now I have a forced break from running inside. MAJOR suckage.

--Alterations on wedding dresses are INSANE. $360 for a few inches and a bustle. It was all I could do to run out of the shop screaming, "RAPE! RAPE! RAAAAPE!" I thought better of it, and just ran out after paying for the base price of the dress...and cried "uncle" to my aunt who is a proficient seamstress.

Jayzuz

Sep. 18th, 2006 04:57 pm
pen_grunt: (Marriage Doom)
I just realized that today is September 18th.

Exactly 2 months to go.

Tick...tick...tick....

Kaboom?

Bookish

Sep. 17th, 2006 10:33 pm
pen_grunt: (Chicks Dig Writers)
I realize that I haven't been posting a lot about the (many) books I've been reading lately. I haven't even been keeping up with my 50 book challenge postings, although--rest assured--I'll make it beyond 50 books in a year. I realize that, while it's intrinsically fascinating for ME to read about books, it may be far less so for others. *shrug* Ah well, books are a big part of my life...and they always will be. For a half-a-second I toyed around with the idea of getting married in a library--just so he would know that he's marrying me AND my books (we're a package deal...luckily Derrick is also a "reader" [picky though he may be]).

Book Ramblings...and I do mean ramblings )

And Wedding stuff )

And that concludes today's completely, terribly random, not-so-terribly interesting blog.
pen_grunt: (Marriage Doom)
Caution: Wedding Stuff Ahead.

I hate brides. Other brides. I hate them because they're organized and chipper and perky and have great ideas all the time about cute little things to add to their wedding. They also have the energy and motivation to accomplish such things. I can't even go to a website to get IDEAS without feeling woefully inadequate. Somehow, I think I wouldn't be feeling this way about the wedding if I weren't already feeling this way about life in general. But anyway.

Stuff I Have Done....maybe )

Stuff I Need To Get Done...for sure )

And Frustration )

Okay, I officially started this entry YESTERDAY. It goes without saying that yesterday ended up being rather busy.
pen_grunt: (Marriage Doom)
Well, I have bridesmaids' dresses. Or at least, I have all the makings of bridesmaids' dresses. I suppose in the worst-case scenario I have correctly colored bridesmaids' togas.

Hey, it's a step up from having nekkie bridesmaids.

The approximate color:



[It's reddish-orangish-rusty colored]

Is it bad to pick a dress color based on the color of my basement walls? If it's wrong, I don't wanna be right.

The dresses (they're the third style):


Whew. Okay. I don't need to go in a fabric store for a long time now. We went to this huge fabric warehouse (bolts stacked up to the ceiling, really) where the owner was running the cash register and cutting fabric for us (60-something man that swore a lot--very endearing). I think there are children that have been lost in that store since the early 1970's--it's a wonderful tangle of fabric and fringe and TYE-DYED LYCRA.

My bridesmaids can thank me later for not picking the glittery tye-dyed lycra. ...Because I was sorely tempted for half a second before deciding that I actually LIKE said bridesmaids.

That's about it. Fabric for the weekend. Watched Munich. Read more of The Pickup Artist (but still didn't manage to finish it because...I'm retarded).

Working at home tonight. Blah. I'm going to Dallas on Wednesday. Yeah, this Wednesday. Thanks for the notice boss. Meat coma countdown begins now. I can almost feel the death.

Edit: Yeah, the color's not working s'much. I'm too lazy to fix it.

Edit #2: Haha! Success! I have won the battle this time LJ, but I shall not let my guard down...nosiree
pen_grunt: (Bobby Dylan)
So. I'm in the middle of wedding "junk". By "junk" I mean planning. I find this both terribly frustrating and incredibly uninteresting. I suspect it's also uninteresting to people not currently having weddings. Kind of like how book reviews are lost on non-readers, and kids & cats are rather uninteresting to those devoid of them (unless the anecdotes are of extraordinary amusement). After all, would a non-cat owner understand how cute it is that you cat plays fetch? Not really, but a non-cat owner might be amused by your cat learning to speak in tongues and bitch-slapping the neighbor kids. A non-kid person would look puzzled when it was "just the cutest thing" that my niece told me she was going to marry Derrick. However, a non-kid person might appreciate that my niece figured out how to say "mommy has a big butt" in the middle of a crowded store (my sister prompted that one, not me).

So. I try to keep long anecdotes about cats, books, kids or other-such under cuts. That way I figure people have the freedom to click, or not to click (and is there really any question?). The bonus is that I avoid boring myself--but still get the necessary "my cat ate plastic Easter grass and pooped out green stuff for a month" catharsis (you can't keep that kind of information inside people...it'll kill you).

And cut.

Conversations about nutty Pastors )

Humbug

Jul. 3rd, 2006 01:10 pm
pen_grunt: (Oh hell)
I'm antsy-nervous in a weird kind of way...

I don't get this way very often, but when I do it's a weird thought-cycle loop. I can't stop thinking about the situation until it's resolved. It worms its way into my headspace and won't leave, no matter what I can or can't do about it at the time.

Examples of when I've felt this way:

New Year's Eve--I was 16. I wasn't supposed to be staying over at my boyfriend's house, but my sister failed to pick me up until mid-morning. I knew I was going to get in trouble, so I was nervous and un-fun the whole night.

Waiting for the "call back" for my first job interview.

Waiting to see if our bid was accepted and if we were outbid on our house.

Generally everything associated with buying our house :)

"Getting" the space for our wedding ceremony/reception.

And now it's generic wedding stuff. Argh. I wish someone else would just do it for me. Maybe I should have hired a wedding planner? *bangs head on keyboard*

Edit: *whimper*

Whew.

Jul. 1st, 2006 10:33 pm
pen_grunt: (Marriage Doom)
After 10 hours of scouring the internet and talking and writing and pricing and emailing wedding vendors, I feel accomplished (and a tad tired).

But now I have:
A dress
Invitations
An Officiant (possibly)
A Caterer picked out + a menu
Photographer requests for quotes
DJ requests for quotes (need to get more of these out)
A guest list that's 95% done
Bridesmaids dresses picked that I (and they) like
A Flower person
Gift registries in 3 (3!) different places


I have yet to do:
Bridal accoutrements
Cakes
Pick flower colors
Decor and stuff
Bar stuff
Finalize Caterer, photog, etc.
A bunch of other crap.


I feel somewhat satisfied with my day. *nods*

I also watched the England-Portugal game. Boo. What a cruddy game to play in (and to watch, sort of).

Ta Da!

Jun. 24th, 2006 05:07 pm
pen_grunt: (Bridal Madhouse)
Not exactly, but pretty darn close.

And I paid WAY too much for it, but you only get married (hopefully) once, right?

And here it is...kind of... )

I'm exhausted. Off to drinks and grilling.
pen_grunt: (Death Chess)
1. My head feels 'splody. I had something to write for this number...and it was really important. And I needed to share it. I think it got pushed out to make room for the massive brain tumor that is roosting in my head right now. (Okay Drama Queen, I can stop exaggerating now...but it does really hurt quite badly.)

Damn. I had a feeling that what I was going to say was all bitchy and disgruntled too.

Hey, I remember now. I was going to say that the next person that tells me I should "ELOPE" is getting a good swift kick in the groin. Alternately, a punch in the face (not a sissy little girl slap, a full on punch) can be substituted at the opponent's discretion. Look, you're NOT the first person to think of this idea. Telling me I should "ELOPE" and then giggling madly when you've already had your big fancy wedding is NOT original. Nor is it particularly cute or helpful. Not at all. If I wanted to ELOPE I wouldn't be frantically planning a wedding. I'm not the type of person to waffle over such things k? K.

Okay, and the 3 fun )
pen_grunt: (Marriage Doom)
...and everyone will be looking at YOU.

I have to say that shopping for wedding dresses is one of the most depressing experiences I've had in quite some time.

First off, sleeveless dresses are evil. Evil, and prevalent.

Secondly, white is SO not my color...and ivory is worse.

Thirdly, beads, bobbles, and lace are evil.

Fourthly, wedding dress store workers are evil. And kinda bitchy.

Fifthly, it's not fun to have to go a dress size up for your wedding dress. Yes, they explain to you that they're just sized that way. Yes, they tell you that everyone has to go a size up. Yes, it's just a number. But *whine* still!

Sixthly, butt-poof is not attractive. Fairy-tale style my ass.

Seventhly [seventhly isn't, strictly speaking, a word], my how-to wedding books all have chapters on "losing weight for your wedding." Re-freaking-diculous.

So what the world is telling a bride is that she should try to look her best on her wedding day, but in order to do so she must be poofy, strapless, thick-looking, bitched at and skinny. I hate them all.

I expected to find ONE dress that I liked. ONE--even if it were totally out of my price range, just to like it would give me hope. But no.


//whoaza--Just had a major girl moment there...forgive this post its pettiness, for it has much to learn.
pen_grunt: (Bridal Madhouse)
Oy. Fair warning: I'll probably start posting about wedding junk far more frequently than I have been (which really, was not at all...cuz if I don't think about it it'll just fix itself, right? Right?). If you're big into wedding stuff, feel free to chime in. I'm a moron when it comes to details or planning stuff, or heck--even picking up the phone to call people and get pricing (ya know that entails, like, talking to people and stuff *freak out*). If you hate weddings...well, I know how you feel. Unfortunately I want one (I'm not sure WHY exactly, but I do) and it's going to take up a major portion of free time until that fated day in November.

Wedding+Parents+Budget=OMG STRESS )
pen_grunt: (Can't Brain)
It's Friday. The weekend will be filled with not-so-fun family things. It will also be filled with not-so-fun wedding things (like dress looking, the psycho-materialistic registering for things, guest-listing and the dreaded budget-talk).

[Poll #745101]

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