[Insert Scathingly Brilliant Title Here]

Reverend: So you guys have written your own vows, right?
Us: Uhh...yes.
Reverend: Do you want to go through them?
Me: Well, we don't have them done yet.
Reverend: It's the day before the wedding...
Me: *shrug* I've had tighter deadlines.
Reverend: *shrug* I guess you are in the biz. I'll keep a backup of the standard vows just in case.

And now, our vows are done. I'm gonna make my mom cry, and thus my goal for the day shall be accomplished.

Less than 24 hours to go and I'll be a Mrs.

I wonder if other brides think the way I do in general. I'm guessing probably not.

A (very) small group consisting of my sister, cousin and I are going horseback riding for sort of a bachelorette party. I'm not such a traditional bachelorette, and getting plastered at the bar seems like something that would be more fun with Derrick anyway (not that I've ever done this--but it seems like a couples activity). I applaud my bridesmaids' choice of activity as unique and quite potentially very fun.

So I'm going horseback riding. I've never been on a horse before (there was this incident where a horse sort of "ran off" with my mom once, and I'm kinda freaked about them ever since--though I have cared for horses alone for extended periods of time, I've never been on one). I'm going to break something.

And all I can think of (in a very calm, very matter-o-fact way) is whether I'd rather sit on the wedding dress in the wheelchair, or have it cut around the wheelchair so I'd look like a very short levitating bride sort of gliding down the aisle.

I think the latter, no?

I've realized that writing out Thank-You notes is kinda like doing old fashioned Mad Libs (you know, the books where you had to fill in a "part of speech" without context and it made a completely ridiculous story...because everyone like to use "toilet" et. al. as their primary nouns).

Go ahead, try it out:

Dear __________ (Family Member)

Thank you SO much for the ______________(adjective) _________________(noun--household item)!

I love it because it's ________________(adjective), and it will help me _______________(verb/verb phrase).

Derrick loves it because ______________ (humorous reason to love something inanimate).

We'll use it _________ (frequency) to ______________ (action verb).

It was ____________(adjective) seeing you/missing you (select one) at the shower. We're looking forward to seeing ____________(family members) at the wedding, it should be ____________(adjective).

Lots of love,

Missy (and Derrick too!)(Or insert your name here)

I'm having a serious nobody-loves me, everybody-hates me, guess I'll go eat worms day. General angst and crankiness abounds.

Maybe it's partly Monday...and I desperately needed another day this weekend to get things done (that, and it was GORGEOUS out both weekend days and today).

It's a little bit boss related--what, with him snapping at me for asking him politely to NOT do something. ("Don't tell me what to do!") It's not easy working with someone who is entirely (yes, entirely) self absorbed.

It's somewhat work related. If you're not a writer, and you admit to not being good at writing, STOP rewriting my stuff so that I have to edit it back AGAIN. Additionally, yes, I know that you said this office would be fine when people started using the kitchen again, but I can still hear Tyra blaring from the TV for an hour or two during various peoples' lunch breaks. You lied work, you lied.

It's partly dealing with family yesterday (although that's good and bad--my adorable niece balances out the neuroticism). Dealing with family, of course, means dealing with a million, "I have your aunt's old cake topper from the early 90's--come see if you want it" offers. And a bunch of, "Are you nervous about the wedding yet?" questions. (No, I wasn't...but because you ALL seem to think I should be, I'm kinda getting there.)

It's a little bit wedding junk (having a lot to do, giving up early in my favor assembly this weekend out of sheer boredom).

It's a little bit not having a working treadmill. I did run outside on Saturday, and it was wonderful...but tough. Somewhere in my neurotic little head I decided to do hills. I hate myself a bit for that. Now I need to convince Derrick to run with me for the rest of the week so I'm not stuck in the yucky-neighborhood running alone at night.

I just realized that today is September 18th.

Exactly 2 months to go.

Tick...tick...tick....

Kaboom?

Caution: Wedding Stuff Ahead.

I hate brides. Other brides. I hate them because they're organized and chipper and perky and have great ideas all the time about cute little things to add to their wedding. They also have the energy and motivation to accomplish such things. I can't even go to a website to get IDEAS without feeling woefully inadequate. Somehow, I think I wouldn't be feeling this way about the wedding if I weren't already feeling this way about life in general. But anyway.

( Stuff I Have Done....maybe )

( Stuff I Need To Get Done...for sure )

( And Frustration )

Okay, I officially started this entry YESTERDAY. It goes without saying that yesterday ended up being rather busy.

So. I'm in the middle of wedding "junk". By "junk" I mean planning. I find this both terribly frustrating and incredibly uninteresting. I suspect it's also uninteresting to people not currently having weddings. Kind of like how book reviews are lost on non-readers, and kids & cats are rather uninteresting to those devoid of them (unless the anecdotes are of extraordinary amusement). After all, would a non-cat owner understand how cute it is that you cat plays fetch? Not really, but a non-cat owner might be amused by your cat learning to speak in tongues and bitch-slapping the neighbor kids. A non-kid person would look puzzled when it was "just the cutest thing" that my niece told me she was going to marry Derrick. However, a non-kid person might appreciate that my niece figured out how to say "mommy has a big butt" in the middle of a crowded store (my sister prompted that one, not me).

So. I try to keep long anecdotes about cats, books, kids or other-such under cuts. That way I figure people have the freedom to click, or not to click (and is there really any question?). The bonus is that I avoid boring myself--but still get the necessary "my cat ate plastic Easter grass and pooped out green stuff for a month" catharsis (you can't keep that kind of information inside people...it'll kill you).

And cut.

( Conversations about nutty Pastors )

After 10 hours of scouring the internet and talking and writing and pricing and emailing wedding vendors, I feel accomplished (and a tad tired).

But now I have:
A dress
Invitations
An Officiant (possibly)
A Caterer picked out + a menu
Photographer requests for quotes
DJ requests for quotes (need to get more of these out)
A guest list that's 95% done
Bridesmaids dresses picked that I (and they) like
A Flower person
Gift registries in 3 (3!) different places


I have yet to do:
Bridal accoutrements
Cakes
Pick flower colors
Decor and stuff
Bar stuff
Finalize Caterer, photog, etc.
A bunch of other crap.


I feel somewhat satisfied with my day. *nods*

I also watched the England-Portugal game. Boo. What a cruddy game to play in (and to watch, sort of).

1. My head feels 'splody. I had something to write for this number...and it was really important. And I needed to share it. I think it got pushed out to make room for the massive brain tumor that is roosting in my head right now. (Okay Drama Queen, I can stop exaggerating now...but it does really hurt quite badly.)

Damn. I had a feeling that what I was going to say was all bitchy and disgruntled too.

Hey, I remember now. I was going to say that the next person that tells me I should "ELOPE" is getting a good swift kick in the groin. Alternately, a punch in the face (not a sissy little girl slap, a full on punch) can be substituted at the opponent's discretion. Look, you're NOT the first person to think of this idea. Telling me I should "ELOPE" and then giggling madly when you've already had your big fancy wedding is NOT original. Nor is it particularly cute or helpful. Not at all. If I wanted to ELOPE I wouldn't be frantically planning a wedding. I'm not the type of person to waffle over such things k? K.

( Okay, and the 3 fun )

Oy. Fair warning: I'll probably start posting about wedding junk far more frequently than I have been (which really, was not at all...cuz if I don't think about it it'll just fix itself, right? Right?). If you're big into wedding stuff, feel free to chime in. I'm a moron when it comes to details or planning stuff, or heck--even picking up the phone to call people and get pricing (ya know that entails, like, talking to people and stuff *freak out*). If you hate weddings...well, I know how you feel. Unfortunately I want one (I'm not sure WHY exactly, but I do) and it's going to take up a major portion of free time until that fated day in November.

( Wedding+Parents+Budget=OMG STRESS )