[Insert Scathingly Brilliant Title Here]

I'm having a serious nobody-loves me, everybody-hates me, guess I'll go eat worms day. General angst and crankiness abounds.

Maybe it's partly Monday...and I desperately needed another day this weekend to get things done (that, and it was GORGEOUS out both weekend days and today).

It's a little bit boss related--what, with him snapping at me for asking him politely to NOT do something. ("Don't tell me what to do!") It's not easy working with someone who is entirely (yes, entirely) self absorbed.

It's somewhat work related. If you're not a writer, and you admit to not being good at writing, STOP rewriting my stuff so that I have to edit it back AGAIN. Additionally, yes, I know that you said this office would be fine when people started using the kitchen again, but I can still hear Tyra blaring from the TV for an hour or two during various peoples' lunch breaks. You lied work, you lied.

It's partly dealing with family yesterday (although that's good and bad--my adorable niece balances out the neuroticism). Dealing with family, of course, means dealing with a million, "I have your aunt's old cake topper from the early 90's--come see if you want it" offers. And a bunch of, "Are you nervous about the wedding yet?" questions. (No, I wasn't...but because you ALL seem to think I should be, I'm kinda getting there.)

It's a little bit wedding junk (having a lot to do, giving up early in my favor assembly this weekend out of sheer boredom).

It's a little bit not having a working treadmill. I did run outside on Saturday, and it was wonderful...but tough. Somewhere in my neurotic little head I decided to do hills. I hate myself a bit for that. Now I need to convince Derrick to run with me for the rest of the week so I'm not stuck in the yucky-neighborhood running alone at night.

Did anyone else notice that their "friends" have now become "mateys" and their "members of" are now "crew member of" on their user info pages?

To post, it's "update captain's log" (which reminds me more of Star Trek than anything else).

Yeah, it's talk like a pirate day alright. Talking like a pirate has lost its humor ever since I had to do a stint writing for an animated pirate. There's good pirate talk, and there's bad pirate talk people--you can't just throw around disjointed phrases and expect to be taken seriously as a pirate. Wait, is that an oxymoron?

I must be very tired, I seem to have lost my sense of humor today. There were too many gratuitous "bridezillas" thrown around (and really, I'm not...and so being called one really ticks me off when people don't understand the concept of NOT being a "bridezilla"), too many "aww, do you want a baby toos" directed at me (when I was holding and cooing over a co-worker's newborn) and too many other stupid things said to me today for me to have a sense of humor anymore. Maybe I'm just stressed--or maybe my pet peeves are just ganging up on me today.

Weddings and babies are serious life decisions. I don't enter them lightly--therefore people having the audacity to joke about them constantly (and no, it's not just one person and not just one time) is really irritating. I understand that some people have disposable marriages and pop out semi-wanted and unplanned children that they can't afford--but I do not. This does not make me a bad person. It does not make me uptight. It simply makes me tired of all the jabs.

Then when the jabs come with an "arrgh matey" it makes them all the more grating.

Pure Self-Indulgent Work Rant Ahead. Beware. Proceed With Caution. For Real. It May Not Even Be Entertaining.

So Pissed, Every Word Is Capitalized. Whoa.

( Extreme Work Frustration )

And that is that.

Okay, major meltdown diverted (notice: not averted) until another day. Maybe. I always feel utterly ridiculous whenever I end up crying (I really don't do it terribly often just in general--and the most common cause is pure frustration...hmm...somehow my frustration chemicals are wired to leak directly from my eye sockets).

So, to summarize--what I learned yesterday:
1. Do not cry in front of the boss. Well, not the one that you don't like, anyway.
2. Do not tell said boss that you don't trust him and that generally he doesn't know what he's talking about. This does not make things better.
3. Likewise, do not tell said boss that he is "micromanaging" just because you know that word is a particular hot button of his. (Even though, really, micromanaging is an UNDERSTATEMENT when it comes to his management style.)
4. Having multiple additional duties and multiple new, huge responsibilities does not mean you're ever going to get that promised raise (1 1/2 years and counting now...)

Oh, I'm working tonight too. Blah.

( And Now, the Kitty Bloggin' )

And now there's a...a...a...script due tomorrow.
*Feigned Panicked Fainting Gestures*

I have the desire to both giggle uncontrollably, and break down crying about the book signing. I mean, it was at a friggin' trade show booth--I didn't really expect people to show up, did I? Actually, I didn't. So in that realm, I was not terribly disappointed. Dan and I sat for about 45 minutes in the Wiley/Pfeiffer provided directors' chairs under a sign saying "Featured Authors." One person bought the book during that time--and we happily signed it with Dan stealing my friggin' catchphrase (mine was "Happy Hosting" and he couldn't think of anything clever, so he swiped mine for a book or two before I literally started beating him with a book). If authors having a mock book-fight didn't draw a crowd, I don't know what would.

However, when we got done with everything, our publisher came up to us and said that we had sold more books (1!) and talked to more people (3?) than any of the other authors during the signing. Methinks they just didn't promote it properly.

( More Ramblings on Travel Stuff )

Working. Late. From home. Again.

No overtime, no comp days, no leaving early.

I'm starting to get really, really tired.

And my cat has decided that my hair and/or head is REALLY tasty. He just "snuck" up beside me, took a few exploratory licks and then made with the full-on head chomping. Maybe he's trying to eat my brains. Poor kitty's gonna starve if I keep this work-from-home-for-free crap up.

Feeling...brains...melting.


Editor's note: My script from last night...totally wrong. Just like I kind of suspected it would be. Sheesh. But it WAS the good kind of wrong (too long) as opposed to the BAD kind of wrong (inaccurate, too short, not funny). Okay, so it was kind of not funny. That's okay, it's just an animated trade show interaction, right?

Ever have one of those days where you just feel irritable and grouchy, and you know you're being snippy and you don't like it, but you just can't seem to stop the word vomit?

I'm having one of those days.

Fortunately I'm blessed with the gift of thinking through everything I say before I say it, regardless of whether or not I'm short-tempered (or that it's a wise thing to say in the first place), so I don't necessarily regret anything.

The most frustrating thing is that I really hate the fact that I just can't seem to let an issue drop. I KNOW I should let it drop, it's not a big deal...but I push and push to the point where there ends up being a big "discussion" about communication problems....which I never really wanted to have.

And now it just feels like things are beyond repair. Or rather, I feel whiny.

I hate feeling whiny. Which makes me whinier. It's a vicious cycle.

I'm not normally a homicidal person, but I'm feeling just a tad stabby today.

There are very few things in life that piss me off to the point of continually (and uncontrollably) ranting about them. Generally I don't feel strongly enough about most issues in life to blather on about them to near-complete strangers and such--but there are exceptions. Most of the rant-inducing things are logical (i.e. politics, religion, the usual suspects...) but some of these things just aren't.

Oprah's Book Club.

Ahh, Oprah's Book Club--the antithesis of reading for the right reasons. I suppose it makes sense that I should feel strongly about it since I'm fairly passionate about books, reading and literature in general. Oprah's friggin book club. To me, Oprah's book club is like having a favorite little coffee shop that you share with your friends, enjoy, spread by word of mouth, etc. It's comfortable, always there, and there's a little bit of guilty pleasure in the fact that you "discovered" it and it's your little place in the world. Then some huge celebrity visits your quiet little town and your coffee shop. This celebrity has vast, inexplicable power over the masses--particularly 40-50 year old stay-at-home something-or-anothers. This celebrity advertises how quaint, comfortable and enjoyable your coffee shop is. All of a sudden, the coffee shop that you savored alone has become over-run with people that hang out all day and sing in adulation. Oh come all ye faithful indeed. It's a selfish kind of hate to go up against Oprah's book club, after all, who am I to deny the pleasure of reading "my" particular book to the masses?

This month's book club "selection" is Elie Wiesel's "Night." This book is a classic, and most of us were assigned this book at some point during high school or college. Those that hadn't had the sense or the assignment to read it were blissfully in the dark. I might slither up to them and whisper in their ears "Night" while they were pondering what to read next. Now millions of housewives worldwide are reading "Night". . . together.

Since when did reading need a support group--except mayhaps for those of us who do nothing but, or abuse our eyes with over-reading? When Oprah picked Tolstoy's "Anna Karenina" (after which one of my cats--Karenin--is named, by the way) for her book club it was taking away my favorite book. It was no longer okay for me to like "Anna Karenina" because every time I would mention it, someone else would pipe up with their opinion--straight from Oprah's quasi-intellectual book discussion episode. Honestly, if only Oprah started spouting more useful messages, we could really make the world DO things. . . . but I digress. I do advocate for general literacy, by the way, and I think it's an overwhelmingly GOOD thing that otherwise non-reading adults are starting to pick up BOOKS again. But how many of those people STOPPED picking up books when Oprah went on a book club hiatus and said that there "just weren't any books out there that captured her attention."? Reading is more than a journey--a story is a journey, and picking out a book is a journey. Half the fun of picking out a new book is discovering something in yourself that is reflected in what type of book you chose. Having a book recommended to you is not a bad thing, but reading soley based on the personal tastes of one other person is both limiting and condescending to one's own ability to read and DISCOVER literature.

I won't buy books with the Oprah's book club seal on them--even if they're cheaper, even if they're hardcover, even if they have gold-gilded edges and a ribbon book marker that I enjoy oh-so (too) much. What would my children say when I pass the books onto them--"wow, my mommy was one of the masses....but she wasn't old enough to be an Oprah-tic in 2006. . . I'm confused." I currently own a tattered, much-read copy of "Night" (and "Anna Karenina" of course) and I do have people ask me about it in the context of Oprah's book club, as if the book never existed before Oprah muttered its name on National TV. Authors are plucked from obscurity (or classic fame) and thrust out into the paperback digesting masses. Lucky for them I suppose (they probably appreciate the paycheck) that is, if they can stomach it.

On an unrelated note, I'm currently reading George R.R. Martin's "Song of Fire and Ice" Series (or is it Ice and Fire? I forget) It's fabulous--any fantasy fans should read it. *winks*

--Missy