Spam Emails, Amusing-Like

Today is apparently the day for commas and hyphens in emails. For three different products:

1. Your Money, Namby-Pambyish
2. Your Cash, Pale-Livered
3. Better Life, Well-Cushioned

They are for, respectively:

A. Sony VIAOs (?!)
B. Cialis (Better lovemaking! Oh my!)
C. Mortgages

Because they all sound like they could be for the SAME kind of investment-related product. Except that when they actually want you to buy a product, they call you "namby-pamby" and "pale-livered". Come to think of it, calling someone well-cushioned is kind of insulting too.

This is because I'm white, isn't it?

We actually had a semi-eventful day at work today. By semi-eventful I mean "shit got stolen" and the cops were called.

We're on the 13th floor of a mostly-empty (being renovated for offices) building in Minneapolis. We don't typically lock the doors to the office during the day because someone is usually there, and we've never really had the need.

Today our receptionist came back from lunch to find a 60-ish man milling around the reception desk. He made up some story about looking for a particular office, or trying to find directions, or whatever other bull he decided to pass off as small talk. After small talk, he decides to leave. It's then that our receptionist noticed that her wallet (which was around her desk area) was missing. She decides to follow the guy--who was the only person who could have taken her wallet.

It turns out the guy dumped the wallet on the 10th floor after finding out there was no loose cash. ANYWAY, our receptionist calls security and they detain the guy, who looks at our receptionist and says, "This is because I'm black, isn't it? You're accusing me because I'm black?"

Our (black) receptionist looks at him and says, "No, I'm accusing you because you TOOK my freaking wallet, that's why I'm accusing you of taking it."

This also manages to royally piss everyone off--it'd be like me saying: "You're being snotty." and the intended saying, "You're just saying that because I'm a girl." NO, I'm saying it because you're being snotty you stupid b*tch :) Playing the "I'm a persecuted racial group" card does NOT work when you've actually committed the crime.

To which the guy responds, "I'm getting too old for this shit."

Yes, yes you are. Apparently if you can't pull off a smooth wallet swipe anymore, you ARE losing your touch.

We're now locking our office doors even during business hours. Sad.