Dear god why.

[pen_grunt]

I have to get up very early tomorrow to drive an hour and a half to Girl Scout camp where I will herd a dozen fourth grade girls for a day. It's just me and my mom leading that group Monday. Luckily she's a nurse, so if anyone needs an epipen I'm delegating.

Why did I agree to do this? Oh yeah, because my niece (going into 6th grade and co-supervising the younger kids) told me I had to and promised me it was her last year. I asked her if she knew how to change diapers yet. Favors for favors, kid.

The fourth graders aren't so bad, though. They are independent enough to not need too much help, and still compliant enough to be easy to herd. I had Derrick help me fold up little...um, I don't know what they're called...the internet says "cootie catchers"...for swaps. (Everyone has little craft things that they make and bring to trade and pin on.)

Hopefully I won't puke. Today was good, but Saturday I threw up every single thing I ate. I'm chalking that up as a fluke since that hasn't happened before with that intensity (and I'm supposed to be done with that now, yes?). Maybe I ate something weird or had a touch of Ebola*. Otherwise I'm giving the fourth graders a cautionary tale: see kids...do not get pregnant ever, it is not fun. Someone hold my hair back. I'll make you a special vomit helper merit badge.

I'm also winding down from cleaning at grandmas after watching my dad pull rusted metal cake decorating pastry tips out of the recycling to save. We had already saved dozens of good metal tips with no scary rust and corrosion, but that didn't seem to matter. That kind of shit is so frustrating. I'm seriously considering loading my car up with crap from that house and sneaking stuff into other peoples' garage sales.

* probably was not Ebola.

Comments

[newlifeinstpaul.livejournal.com]

Ebola!?!?!? How could you joke about that?

Me, I bought a few souvenirs from Senegalese folks.
Which means I'm allowed :P

[newlifeinstpaul.livejournal.com]

What would we call that badge?
I'm all for "Organic Tie Dye' or 'Spin Art.'

[pen-grunt.livejournal.com]

Back to the 90s with SPLATTER PAINT!

[pen-grunt.livejournal.com]

I have to joke about it because of all the super-privileged mommies surrounded by hand-sanitizer pumps and lysol sprays FREAKING OUT about it. NO ONE HERE IS GOING TO GET EBOLA, LADIES.

[newlifeinstpaul.livejournal.com]

*Not an actual question

[pen-grunt.livejournal.com]

I realized...but I still had to clarify because people are SO INCREDIBLY DUMB about this. Do they even science?!?

[newlifeinstpaul.livejournal.com]

Well, if they're Already the Center of the Universe it's got to affect them somehow.