pen_grunt | Memory

Derrick's grandma is losing her memory.
We've known this for a while, and she's very self-aware, but it's hard to watch it progress.
I've been through it with my grandfather. I know how frustrating and sad it is.
Right now, grandma Bev remembers who I am and everything, but the memory loss is apparent in conversation. For instance, we stopped over to say hi and tell her about the pregnancy before going to the wedding this weekend. She asked us a dozen times who was getting married. We answered patiently, as though we were just being asked for the first time each time, but d's grandfather is not so patient, and he snaps at her out of frustration a lot. He yelled at her for going on a walk and not being able to find her--she was out weeding in the garden.

As a result, she's stopped wanting to do anything or go anywhere. The best thing d's parents did was get a new puppy. They named her the same name as the old dog so grandma wouldn't have to remember. Grandma Bev spends hours outside with that dog, playing and walking and talking. The dog has no expectations. Doesn't care if she remembers or repeats. It's amazing to watch them.

She'll probably forget me before her other grand kids. I'm newer, after all. But some things she does remember. Important things. She asked me about losing the baby in January. She asked how I was, and she's been asking others how I'm doing. She was thrilled when we told her about the pregnancy. She started to cry. She held the thread through the whole conversation and remembered the next day.

It makes me sad to see her decline. She was so, so sweet to me after my grandma June died that I tear up just thinking about it. It's clear that, Derrick being her favorite grandchild*, she made a special place for me, too.

*derrick is everyone's favorite in his family. No joke. He's just so affable and kind and calm that it's hard not to be a favorite grandson amidst all the general chaos of the huge family.