Missy's Three Simple Rules for Driving
Jun. 16th, 2006 06:50 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pen_grunt1. Use your freaking blinker. Seriously. I'll let you in. I'll go out of my way to let you in. When you start drifting into the side of my car and I don't know what the hell you're doing, you're going to freak me the f*ck out. Additionally, when you all-of-a-sudden decide that making a left turn from the straight-ahead-only-please lane is a good idea, I can handle that... if you just turn on your signal. When you don't turn on your signal (and, incidentally, your brake lights aren't exactly working), I freak the f*ck out. And I'm a calm driver.
Cars should be equipped with electro-shock equipment. If your car senses that you're making a turn or shifting lanes and your blinker is not on, it sends electric shocks through your body until your comply with turn signal policies.
2. Cops do NOT get to go through red lights without their lights on. You don't want to wait at a red light Mr. Cop? Okay, then turn your lights on--even if it's a gratuitous 5-seconds of flashing. Just do it. When I have a green light and you decide to slow-down-then-speed-through your red light without turning your lights on, it freaks me the f*ck out.
3. 40-plus-year-old tanned-to-the-5th layer of skin-chain-smoking-leisure-suit-wearing men should not be allowed to put cheap spinners on their Chrysler Convertibles. It's sad, funny, and additionally, it freaks me the f*ck out.
Cars should be equipped with electro-shock equipment. If your car senses that you're making a turn or shifting lanes and your blinker is not on, it sends electric shocks through your body until your comply with turn signal policies.
2. Cops do NOT get to go through red lights without their lights on. You don't want to wait at a red light Mr. Cop? Okay, then turn your lights on--even if it's a gratuitous 5-seconds of flashing. Just do it. When I have a green light and you decide to slow-down-then-speed-through your red light without turning your lights on, it freaks me the f*ck out.
3. 40-plus-year-old tanned-to-the-5th layer of skin-chain-smoking-leisure-suit-wearing men should not be allowed to put cheap spinners on their Chrysler Convertibles. It's sad, funny, and additionally, it freaks me the f*ck out.
