On being open
Apr. 9th, 2013 02:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pen_gruntIn the advent of the Plan B ruling I've been ending up telling a lot of people that I've taken it.
I'm not usually that chatty with random folks about my birth control choices. But while I don't feel it's anyone's business but my own, in this case it's helped to dispel some misconceptions and judgments people have had about the "kind" of people that take Plan B (sluts! and small children!), the reasons why one would (to have lots of unprotected sex all the time! or to be more easily raped!), and what kind of a drug it actually is (abortion pill!).
1. All kinds of people take Plan B. Responsible people, irresponsible people, good people, bad people, rich people, poor people, teens, adults. You know. People.
2. For me it was a less expensive option than gambling on potential pregnancy.
3. It is not an abortion pill. If you are already pregnant and you take Plan B, you will stay pregnant.
The first time I used Plan B I was 16, and I had to get a prescription for it. I didn't feel like I could talk to my parents about being sexually active (they're not the types that would have harmed me in any way, but it wouldn't have been a good scene). If I could inhabit my teen self now...I still wouldn't have talked to my parents.
I had to find a clinic, make an appointment within the brief window of time that it would be effective, take off work/class, drive myself there (making many excuses), pay out-of-pocket for the appointment and for the pill. (And, also, for a regular BCP solution.) It was a $300 proposition by the time all was said and done. I was lucky I had a job. I was lucky I had access to a car and the ability to drive. I was lucky I found an understanding doctor--in fact, she gave me an extra prescription to have around "just in case". Any of those elements gone and I would have been in a much more difficult situation. What if they didn't have an appointment open that day or even that week? What if I had been too young to drive? What if I couldn't get away for the extended period of time it took to get to the clinic? What if I didn't have a job that could cover both the appointment and pill cost?
Plan B being available only through prescription didn't force me to talk to my parents about my life choices (ehhem, Family Research Council), it only made it more expensive and more difficult to get the pill in a timely, effective manner. If the pill hadn't been available it wouldn't have stopped me from having sex--it would have just made for a very tense couple of weeks and possibly an unplanned pregnancy. The pill being available didn't *encourage* me to have sex--it was clearly an afterthought. Condoms are so much cheaper and easier to procure.
The other two times I used Plan B were post-marriage and were related to a combination of miscalculating ordering BCP refills combined with work travel and welcome-home sex. I was able to walk right up to the pharmacy counter and ask for Plan B and voila. $50 a pop to mitigate risk. Not a cheap solution, but it gave me piece of mind and it's cheaper than having a baby.
Taking Plan B is no big thing. My body only reacted to it once (the first time) and I got mild cramps along the vein of mild-moderate menstrual cramps. There was a bit of spotting. I chalk this up to never having had any sort of BCP/hormonal intervention before. It didn't happen the other two times.
I'm completely ecstatic about Plan B being available without a prescription to people under 17. I think about how difficult it was for me the first time and it's MUCH more difficult for, say, a 15 year old who can't drive or doesn't have a source of income to circumvent their parents' insurance. Now, if a kid feels like they can't talk to their parents about getting Plan B (and a lot of kids really, really can't), they CAN talk to another trusted adult/older teen/sibling and get emergency birth control in a timely manner.
What makes me furious is the same people who are adamantly pro-life being all "oh my god the CHILDREN!" about Plan B. If you want fewer unplanned pregnancies/abortions...actually DO something to help people prevent them. Don't ignore the science, research, and FDA recommendations just because you have some moral hangup about birth control or you think "abstinence only enabled by good parental chats" is THE solution. Because teens aren't going to stop having sex anytime soon. And let's not pretend we're always talking about an 11 year old here. I'm sure it makes a compelling rhetorical image to think of a child, but I seriously doubt that's more than a very, very, very small fraction of Plan B use. If I had to guess (without doing the research) I'd say that the most popular age range for use is probably more like 15-25.
I'm not usually that chatty with random folks about my birth control choices. But while I don't feel it's anyone's business but my own, in this case it's helped to dispel some misconceptions and judgments people have had about the "kind" of people that take Plan B (sluts! and small children!), the reasons why one would (to have lots of unprotected sex all the time! or to be more easily raped!), and what kind of a drug it actually is (abortion pill!).
1. All kinds of people take Plan B. Responsible people, irresponsible people, good people, bad people, rich people, poor people, teens, adults. You know. People.
2. For me it was a less expensive option than gambling on potential pregnancy.
3. It is not an abortion pill. If you are already pregnant and you take Plan B, you will stay pregnant.
The first time I used Plan B I was 16, and I had to get a prescription for it. I didn't feel like I could talk to my parents about being sexually active (they're not the types that would have harmed me in any way, but it wouldn't have been a good scene). If I could inhabit my teen self now...I still wouldn't have talked to my parents.
I had to find a clinic, make an appointment within the brief window of time that it would be effective, take off work/class, drive myself there (making many excuses), pay out-of-pocket for the appointment and for the pill. (And, also, for a regular BCP solution.) It was a $300 proposition by the time all was said and done. I was lucky I had a job. I was lucky I had access to a car and the ability to drive. I was lucky I found an understanding doctor--in fact, she gave me an extra prescription to have around "just in case". Any of those elements gone and I would have been in a much more difficult situation. What if they didn't have an appointment open that day or even that week? What if I had been too young to drive? What if I couldn't get away for the extended period of time it took to get to the clinic? What if I didn't have a job that could cover both the appointment and pill cost?
Plan B being available only through prescription didn't force me to talk to my parents about my life choices (ehhem, Family Research Council), it only made it more expensive and more difficult to get the pill in a timely, effective manner. If the pill hadn't been available it wouldn't have stopped me from having sex--it would have just made for a very tense couple of weeks and possibly an unplanned pregnancy. The pill being available didn't *encourage* me to have sex--it was clearly an afterthought. Condoms are so much cheaper and easier to procure.
The other two times I used Plan B were post-marriage and were related to a combination of miscalculating ordering BCP refills combined with work travel and welcome-home sex. I was able to walk right up to the pharmacy counter and ask for Plan B and voila. $50 a pop to mitigate risk. Not a cheap solution, but it gave me piece of mind and it's cheaper than having a baby.
Taking Plan B is no big thing. My body only reacted to it once (the first time) and I got mild cramps along the vein of mild-moderate menstrual cramps. There was a bit of spotting. I chalk this up to never having had any sort of BCP/hormonal intervention before. It didn't happen the other two times.
I'm completely ecstatic about Plan B being available without a prescription to people under 17. I think about how difficult it was for me the first time and it's MUCH more difficult for, say, a 15 year old who can't drive or doesn't have a source of income to circumvent their parents' insurance. Now, if a kid feels like they can't talk to their parents about getting Plan B (and a lot of kids really, really can't), they CAN talk to another trusted adult/older teen/sibling and get emergency birth control in a timely manner.
What makes me furious is the same people who are adamantly pro-life being all "oh my god the CHILDREN!" about Plan B. If you want fewer unplanned pregnancies/abortions...actually DO something to help people prevent them. Don't ignore the science, research, and FDA recommendations just because you have some moral hangup about birth control or you think "abstinence only enabled by good parental chats" is THE solution. Because teens aren't going to stop having sex anytime soon. And let's not pretend we're always talking about an 11 year old here. I'm sure it makes a compelling rhetorical image to think of a child, but I seriously doubt that's more than a very, very, very small fraction of Plan B use. If I had to guess (without doing the research) I'd say that the most popular age range for use is probably more like 15-25.
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no subject
Date: 2013-04-09 08:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-04-09 09:54 pm (UTC)Indeed and absolutely.
And yet a great number the FRC responses have been about the poor widdle children toddling helplessly up to the pharmacy (and where are the parents?!) to get their evil, sexualizing, abuser-enabling Plan B.
RAGE! I have it.
no subject
Date: 2013-04-09 08:55 pm (UTC)I want them to be safe and healthy above all.
Unfortunately, they're also members of a fundamental faith so talking about things of this nature--including, of all things, a CANCER vaccine! Who wouldn't want THAT--makes me That Sinner talkin' that Sinny Sin talk. *headwall*
no subject
Date: 2013-04-09 10:02 pm (UTC)And...
I want them to be safe and healthy above all.
This. You win the good-parent-mentality award. :)
no subject
Date: 2013-04-10 05:03 am (UTC)I am completely serious about that. Not until they are ready, of course, but then, off to the races. Actually I more than want them to have sex, I want them to be players. I want them to completely own the sex of their choice. Part of the point of having kids is to preen over them. I want my children to be gorgeous, confident, sex-positive, able to pick up whoever they want whenever they want. Just like me :)
no subject
Date: 2013-04-10 05:19 am (UTC)See, and I pretty much assume that by 16-18 most kids are at least starting to have sex. Younger than that might happen, but I would question the full readiness.
ETA: I should clarify--in reality, I would be deeply uncomfortable with my hypothetical 13 year old having sex--I wouldn't think they would be emotionally ready for it no matter how mature they were, concerned with a 16 year old (mostly because romantic/sexual relationships could be a distraction from academia...if my own experiences were any indication) and totally okay with an 18 year old.
My niece and nephew...well, it's just hard to project that far into the future--and my initial response was sort of flippant/reactionary--but I kinda have the same mental timeline. It's VERY hard for me to think of them as adults, but to think of them not having a rich, fulfilling, experimental sex life would be tragic.
no subject
Date: 2013-04-09 10:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-04-09 10:12 pm (UTC)*sigh*
I'm not a parent, but honestly? I'd want my kid to have sex before marriage. Not really as an early teen, but at some point before they get hitched (if that's the path they're going down).
no subject
Date: 2013-04-09 11:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-04-10 05:21 am (UTC)VERY true. If I had passed on sex with a few boyfriends just because I didn't want to marry them my life would be less rich for it. :D
no subject
Date: 2013-04-10 05:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-04-10 05:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-04-10 06:29 am (UTC)I once met a guy who was Saving Himself. He said that he didn't want to be comparing his future wife to anyone. I thought, but did not say, "hon, if the sex is bad, you'll know it without having to compare it to anyone else. Of course, by then it will be Too Late."
no subject
Date: 2013-04-10 06:31 pm (UTC)It's a small, anecdotal, sample size, but I can't imagine NOT feeling this way if I had "saved myself" [insert uproarious laughter at the concept].
no subject
Date: 2013-04-10 09:36 pm (UTC)And, of course it was easy for me to look like a paragon of virtue for the longest time since I had no desire to pursue (heterosexual) sex.
no subject
Date: 2013-04-10 10:51 pm (UTC)