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Man, do I miss Puck.
Sitting downstairs and having him not be there is just crushing right now. I keep thinking he's just off using the litter box or sunning in a window or waiting for the auto-feeder.
I know pets are different than people, and I've lost cats before and I know that the grief is not as long lasting or as extreme or as pervasive, but damn. I just want his furry little face against my chest again and to touch his paws and have them curl under my arm.
I'm a practical person. I grew up on a farm. Animals are not people. Would I have spent 10k on an uncertain outcome for my sibling? Yes. On my 10 year old cat? No. It makes me feel tremendously guilty, though it only makes sense. 10k for--best case scenario--another 2-5 years (the average life expectancy for a male indoor house cat is 12-14 years)? Not guaranteed, and certainly not guaranteed to be pain-free. It would be ridiculous.
You know. Pets like cats and dogs live such relatively short lives. You lose them in your life no matter how wonderful an owner you are. It's just a fact. You have those 10-20 good years, sometimes less, and then they are gone and there's nothing you can do. It really makes you wonder if it's worth the heartbreak at the end. You wonder if you should just NOT get another cat again, even though the house seems quiet and lonely and somehow less alive without them.
You wonder if you can set yourself up for that missing again.
And then they curl up on you and nuzzle into the nape of your neck and fall asleep purring...or they find you when you're crying and push their head against yours...or they're just there when you need them and you stroke their soft fur and you feel calmer--like the world is a righter, better place...and you put yourself right back in that position of inevitable heartbreak again. Because they just make life better. . . and grief is the price we pay for love.
Sitting downstairs and having him not be there is just crushing right now. I keep thinking he's just off using the litter box or sunning in a window or waiting for the auto-feeder.
I know pets are different than people, and I've lost cats before and I know that the grief is not as long lasting or as extreme or as pervasive, but damn. I just want his furry little face against my chest again and to touch his paws and have them curl under my arm.
I'm a practical person. I grew up on a farm. Animals are not people. Would I have spent 10k on an uncertain outcome for my sibling? Yes. On my 10 year old cat? No. It makes me feel tremendously guilty, though it only makes sense. 10k for--best case scenario--another 2-5 years (the average life expectancy for a male indoor house cat is 12-14 years)? Not guaranteed, and certainly not guaranteed to be pain-free. It would be ridiculous.
You know. Pets like cats and dogs live such relatively short lives. You lose them in your life no matter how wonderful an owner you are. It's just a fact. You have those 10-20 good years, sometimes less, and then they are gone and there's nothing you can do. It really makes you wonder if it's worth the heartbreak at the end. You wonder if you should just NOT get another cat again, even though the house seems quiet and lonely and somehow less alive without them.
You wonder if you can set yourself up for that missing again.
And then they curl up on you and nuzzle into the nape of your neck and fall asleep purring...or they find you when you're crying and push their head against yours...or they're just there when you need them and you stroke their soft fur and you feel calmer--like the world is a righter, better place...and you put yourself right back in that position of inevitable heartbreak again. Because they just make life better. . . and grief is the price we pay for love.
