Open letter to the catalogs

[pen_grunt]

Dear clothing company,

If your clothing makes a size negative four model look a little chubby in your catalog, do you really think that it's going to be flattering on a normal woman (slender or not)?

No. It's not.

This fluffy-in-the-midsection, everybody-could-be-pregnant look is SO over with me. You know, because I determine such things in the fashion world, right?

Sincerely,

Death to Empire Waists.

Comments

[liquid-siftings.livejournal.com]

Not that I am prone to wearing them, but I've got to agree with you -- I've never found the style particularly attactive on anyone.

[pen-grunt.livejournal.com]

I could see how if the fabric were clingy enough, it would be okay, but no, it only looks good on terminally thin people with no boobs whatsoever.

[lisa-e-is-me.livejournal.com]

AMEN SISTAH!!! I hate those things. I have a D-sized bust, so yeah, I look super pregnant, like 7 or 8 months along in those things. Small women only look like they are 3 months along or so, but still, why would women at large want to look pregnant if the aren't? The only upside is that I could probably get away with parking in the "Expectant Mothers" space at Publix, but after a few months of that with no baby to show for it, I would be figured out anyway. Feh! I rank these shirts up there with wide flare bell-bottoms in terms of flattering to the wearer.

[pen-grunt.livejournal.com]

They either try to:

1. Hide curves (by not cinching in at the natural waist
2. Create curves (hence, the pregnancy look)

I'm going to add to the hideously unflattering looks bucket: Skinny jeans. What a way to make a woman look really heavy through the hips.

[marciamarcia.livejournal.com]

I love it that you're apparently supposed to pair the empire waist top with the skinny jeans.

Et voila! The worst-looking clothing combination since huge sweaters and leggings went out of style.

[pointedthings.livejournal.com]

I believe that empire waisted garments were made for women who look pretty and have nothing else going for them. All the rich men can see how cute they'll look when they're pregnant. It also provides for a fun game on college campuses. Which sorority girl is actually pregnant?

[pen-grunt.livejournal.com]

Do you get points for going up to said sorority girls and asking them about it?

[grenacia.livejournal.com]

Well, there are some versions of empire-waist clothing that aren't as blousy and don't have that pseudopregnancy effect, though they are rare. And the style is good for those women with big bellies who look pregnant whatever they wear. But in general, no, not a good look. They always seem to be designed for very high-breasted women, too, they never seem to fit my breasts right.

[pen-grunt.livejournal.com]

See, what I don't like is that if one has any breasts at all, the top billows away from the belly. So very, very small breasted women tend to look better in them than those with a chest.

[eyelid.livejournal.com]

Empire waists look terrible on everyone. That said, the fashion could not have come in at a better time, as I am pregnant.

[pen-grunt.livejournal.com]

I do have two empire waist garments that I'm sort of halfway saving until I get pregnant (many years in the future). It seems sort of crazy (and not invoking the best cosmic karma), but I like the tops too much to give away, and they're too unflattering to wear.

[marciamarcia.livejournal.com]

Agreed. I will throw back a glass of haterade for empire waists any day of the week.

But you know what's worse than empire waists? Those fucking sack-cut shirts that aren't fitted anywhere except for a tight band around your hips. What the fuck is up with those things? And why couldn't I find any shirts for sale last summer that WEREN'T cut like that?

I haven't seen the spring lines at Target/Old Navy/Other cheap stores yet. But, god, I really hope the offerings are more attractive than last year.

[pen-grunt.livejournal.com]

Ah yes, the "I'm wearing a sack" look. I love how, if one were to get caught in an updraft, they would blow up like a little balloon--with a skinny jean bottom. It's like being a walking lollipop, really.