Oh, Panic.

[pen_grunt]

So...somehow my sister managed to convince me to go with her to see Anthony Bourdain tomorrow. He's doing a book signing at Triple Rock. I'm absolutely uncertain how to proceed in such a situation. I mean, it's Anthony Freaking Bourdain. He's on my List, for gosh sakes. If I weren't so afraid that my sister would kill me (and you would, wouldn't you Beck?) I would bow out gracefully and go home as per usual tomorrow night. Alas, I'm stuck going.

I'm going to puke on his shoes. I just know it. I can see the impending scenario with such clarity, it's frightening.

And how does this thing work, anyway? I'm assuming there will be lots of waiting in line and embarrassment...perhaps more than a healthy dose of stammering and sputtering on my part when I get my chance to say 1.5 words in the line. Which I will inevitably screw up, of course.

Why did I agree to this? Why? Is my sense of masochism really so well developed?

Comments

[liquid-siftings.livejournal.com]

There will likely be waiting in line, but not so much with the embarassment. As you remarked, you will only have a brief moment where you might be expected to say something, and if all else fails, just thank him -- there is no shame and plenty of grace in that.

Oh, and don't forget to write your phone number on a scrap of paper to surreptitiously drop into his hand when greeting him. ;-)

[pen-grunt.livejournal.com]

I totally would have forgotten to do that. Is that shameful? Desperate? I'm going to do it anyway.

After all, the husband hath granted permission. *wicked wink*

[liquid-siftings.livejournal.com]

Given your looks, m'dear, I'd say it's a 50-50 throw...

[liquid-siftings.livejournal.com]

(which is a compliment, in case that came across wrong)

[irishinmn.livejournal.com]

You should start by spitting in his face.

It would be a delightful cerebration of rudeness that Bourdain would appreciate.

(I told you I was weird)

[pen-grunt.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that'll totally work. Right....

[gwangi.livejournal.com]

I think it's hilariously awesome that he's going to be at the Triple Rock.