What a presumption...

[pen_grunt]

I opened one of the little Dove Promises chocolates. They have little bits of "wisdom" or "inspiration" on the inside of their wrappers.

Mine says, "You know what? You look good in red."

What a presumptuous little candy. I actually look like pallid death in red. Thanks for trying though. I don't get the whole "wearing red empowers women" sentiment. You know what empowers women? More chocolate.

My next one said, "Sing along with the elevator music."

Clearly these little chocolates are meant to sabotage more than my waistline, but also my wardrobe and others' perception of my sanity. They're also very demanding.

Comments

[luno.livejournal.com]

It didn't say a red article of clothing. Perhaps it meant a red sports car. Or maybe (if that's the way you swing) tied up in red ribbons. You're just trapped into the narrow worldview of linear thinking.

[irishsbuffy.livejournal.com]

Mmmmm Dove chocolate...

Those were silly....

[pen-grunt.livejournal.com]

Additionally, I'll take serial killer pickup lines for 100 Alex. "You know what? You'd look good in red."

You're right, I'm being far too pragmatic and obvious about my interpretation. Curses, I'll warm up the ribbons.

[pen-grunt.livejournal.com]

I don't remember them being that...off the wall...though. I always thought they said things like, "If you follow your heart, you'll find only happiness," and other drivel like that.

Now they're just getting "sassy" in that you-go-girl kinda way.

[liquid-siftings.livejournal.com]

Fortunes should never use the imperative.

That's my stance.

[pen-grunt.livejournal.com]

I think I'm going to rename them Dove Orders instead of Dove Promises.

This morning's chocolate told me to "Wink at someone while driving today."

I'm pretty sure that winking while driving will have a negative effect on my depth perception and ability to stay accident-free. Maybe I'll just wink at someone in the library or coffee shop.

[llythefaerye.livejournal.com]

You mean to say that someone out there perceives you to be sane???

[pen-grunt.livejournal.com]

Well, perception is everything...I hold up a good facade.