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Sep. 21st, 2017 12:18 pm
sacramentalist: (Default)
[personal profile] sacramentalist
The more I learn about myself, the sillier I feel, which makes me share less.

natural disasters and going home

Sep. 20th, 2017 02:02 pm
smittenbyu: (relaxed)
[personal profile] smittenbyu
The list of natural disasters is just getting so long! Yeeks!! Several of our members have been affected by the hurricane, earthquakes that have been happening. Closer to home, my colleague's son just started college in Puerto Rico. He managed to get flights back home for both times. While my colleague was sharing her stresses of trying to get her son out, I had to recount a story from my college days. 

Back in the 90s, I was in college in Hawai'i.  I lived in Honolulu on the island of Oahu. My grandmother lived in Bangalore, India. She discovered while reading the newspapers that a volcano was erupting in Hawai'i. She immediately called mother, since she didn't have my number at the time with the news. She frantically with so much concern tried to convince mom that she is happy to pay for my ticket to fly home right away. Mom, of course, called me. This was the days before google. I woke up that morning going, "what volcano?!" There's no active volcano on Oahu. Mom called grandma back and reassured her that everything was fine and not to worry. 

But poor grandma was never convinced. We all picture volcanoes to be like Mt. St Helens. But Hawaiian ones are not as dramatic and have been erupting for a long time now. In fact, I think the Kilauea is the longest erupting volcano in the world! So, when I did go to see the volcano, I remembered to take a picture and send it to grandma to show that everything is OK. Of course, it made her worry more that I was walking close to the volcano - clearly proof that I have lost my head! 

ah grandma! Love her.

Worst. Idea. Ever.

Sep. 14th, 2017 12:22 pm
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[personal profile] fontosaurus
I was reminded today of one of my better ideas for a Halloween costume. To know me is to know that I have a history of making poor choices, and those poor choices sometimes are borne out of great ideas like the Decrepit Bunny.

I was in my twenties and had a large amount of disposable income. And I wanted to do something funny/memorable, so I rigged went out and got a pink bunny suit that left my face exposed. Think Ralphie's present from his aunt in A Christmas Story... I bought it a couple of months before Halloween, of course, because it needed modification.

Some simple electronics, some plastic tubing, and a motorized clamp, and I had created an internal "intestine" that I could open and close, using a magnetic switch whose halves were in my left thumb and left ring finger.

As you can guess, the "intestine" was filled with black olives. Like you would do if you had come up with this (pardon me) hare-brained idea.

Needless to say, that this was a big hit. I'd be in the middle of a conversation, or dancing, or doing whatever dumb shit I did when I was drunk, and I'd open the internal sphincter and drop a few olives. I'd get some laughs, and I'd go about the business of getting completely shit-hammered.

I'm not sure everywhere I managed to shit. I do know that at one of the parties I went to, they wanted me to pick up the tab for having their carpets cleaned. I also know that I reloaded the intestine at least three times.

At some point someone asked if there were any olives for the nachos. I copped a squat on the buffet and obliged them. To laughter and cheers. Which, of course, fed my need to make people laugh.

And then I got the idea. The worst idea of all. The punch bowl was an inviting target, I was low on ammo, and I decided that goddammit, I was going to call in the mother of all biological airstrikes. I got situated over the bowl. I raised my left hand to touch my finger and thumb together. I lost my balance and managed to tip the whole damn table over.

The end result was a huge mess of food everywhere, a dislocated kneecap, a concussion, and a lot of gratitude that the host had thought to buy a plastic punch bowl, otherwise I'd have had stitches in my ass.

I think that was the moment where my binge drinking stopped, to be honest. Yeah, I've been drunk since, but I've definitely toned-down the dumbassery. So maybe something positive came of it?

Sometimes, though, I wish I had kept the bunny suit.

(no subject)

Sep. 13th, 2017 11:32 am
sacramentalist: (Default)
[personal profile] sacramentalist
So, I saw my shrink. I more or less said I was going crazy over this basement mess. His empathy seemed to cool when I said it's probably covered by insurance and I'm just fretting over whether my claim gets paid or not and my general laziness (my words, obviously).

I even went so far as say what I expected him to say. He just lightly said "yeah, we've had that conversation a few times... so I'm interested to know why you stopped coming. We seemed to be starting to work on some things and you vanished"

Honestly? I got the date wrong. I thought it was Aug 10, and it was Aug 3. It actually sucks because I spent Aug 3 wishing it was the next week. This is what happens when I trust my instincts and not hyperfocus on detail. "So why didn't (I) call to reschedule?"

This is gonna sound weird, or simply childish, but I hate waiting. I'll delay making a doctor appointment for a year because I don't want to wait the 4-6 months. And what happens when things are set in the future? I miss the appointment and I'm penalize, or worse, lectured. Or, with him, it's so far in the future I'm past my immediate issues and I'm talking about how I felt 2-3 weeks ago, like I'm a 3rd person.

Anyway, I'm sure he's getting at this is part-and-parcel with what we were working on (causes of me being hesitant, indecisive, and self-critical)

But honestly, I think I needed him to say "hey, you're remembering our talks. Good job!" And I've been stewing about it for days.


---

But on another point. WHO HAS WATCHED BOJACK HORSEMAN SEASON 4? I want to talk about it with someone I know. Not some rando on Reddit, because I think this was the best season so far.

How I love thee.

Sep. 9th, 2017 08:10 pm
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[personal profile] pen_grunt
 Maybe I don't talk much about Derrick. But I love him for a lot of reasons. 

Today we saw a hawk in our neighborhood. Upon further inspection, D noticed that the hawk had a broken foot. He spent hours on and off the phone with the raptor center, talking about getting assistance out to nurse the hawk and detailing how to catch the hawk if it was accessible and tracking the hawk. It flew to an inaccessible place, but he continues to worry about it. 

This is a metaphor for How He Is and how we are. If there is a thing with a broken part, we want to try. We worry about it. I love him for it. 

There are so many beautiful things in this world. If one lands on your fence with a broken part, you help. You fuss. 

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pen_grunt

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