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Silence is Golden.
Derrick is sick.
He can't speak. Rather, he can, but only in a whisper. Combining a whispering man with a woman who has some natural hearing loss makes for a joyous cocktail of household harmony.
It's fun.
Call me a wicked woman if you will, but I'm rather liking this whole clicks-whistles and throwing things at each other method of communication. We've developed a sort of perverse sign language. A semi-hypothetical example of our exchanges:
Me: Honey, what do you need from the grocery store?
Him: [grabs my boob]
Me: I don't think you can get those at the grocery store, though I'm sure if you want them badly enough we can make arrangements....
Him: [Shakes head "no"] [Points at freezer]
Me: Oh...we're out of Chicken Breast already?
Him: [Nods vigorously]
Watching the Oscars with a mute is fun too.
Me: Wow, I love that dress
Him: [makes the "tiny" gesture with his hands]
Me: I know, skinny bitch.
Me: And look at Jennifer Garner!
Him: [Makes the "big boobs" symbol]
Me: Yeah, baby boobs...
Him: [Makes a "3 X" with his fingers and looks hopeful]
Me: Yes, someday sweetie, someday....
It's official, blogging about boobs is my new favorite thing.
He can't speak. Rather, he can, but only in a whisper. Combining a whispering man with a woman who has some natural hearing loss makes for a joyous cocktail of household harmony.
It's fun.
Call me a wicked woman if you will, but I'm rather liking this whole clicks-whistles and throwing things at each other method of communication. We've developed a sort of perverse sign language. A semi-hypothetical example of our exchanges:
Me: Honey, what do you need from the grocery store?
Him: [grabs my boob]
Me: I don't think you can get those at the grocery store, though I'm sure if you want them badly enough we can make arrangements....
Him: [Shakes head "no"] [Points at freezer]
Me: Oh...we're out of Chicken Breast already?
Him: [Nods vigorously]
Watching the Oscars with a mute is fun too.
Me: Wow, I love that dress
Him: [makes the "tiny" gesture with his hands]
Me: I know, skinny bitch.
Me: And look at Jennifer Garner!
Him: [Makes the "big boobs" symbol]
Me: Yeah, baby boobs...
Him: [Makes a "3 X" with his fingers and looks hopeful]
Me: Yes, someday sweetie, someday....
It's official, blogging about boobs is my new favorite thing.
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So, we can expect to see posts about the Bush White House soon? ;-)
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Hell, they're fully twice as literate...
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p.s. i would have guessed he needed milk, not chicken breasts. lol
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Breast milk comes in such wondeferful containers