The 10 Worst and Best things about Vegas
Aug. 23rd, 2006 10:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pen_gruntMy apologies in advance to anyone who just LOVES Vegas. I'm sure the experience is much different when a) Rich, or b) Vacationing.
In no particular order:
1. Bachelorette Parties. I don't mind the bachelor parties so much, for the most part they tend to stay in their own little world--ogling gals, drinking and gambling. Bachelorette parties, however, tent to spill out onto EVERYTHING with their giggly, vapid, slutty selves. Teehee!
2. The Smell. Our hotel (TI) is "scented". This means that at any time, day or night, you get the nauseating smell of coconut. Don't get me wrong, for the first 4 minutes it's refreshing in that, "Oh, isn't that nice that they thought about atmosphere" kind of way. After 4 days and nights of coconut, you want to beat someone. The smell also changes every 5 steps outside--from vomit to overcooked food, to bubble gum, to dirty diapers.
3. The Cost. I paid $45 for chicken noodle soup, a slice of apple pie, and a scoop of ice cream. Seriously. Everything here is uber-expensive (this ties into reason #10) and nothing here is worth it (except maybe that fab Cartier necklace in the window at the Wynn).
4. The Weather. It's already 100 F at 8:00 a.m. I love my outside time, but I just can't take hours upon hours of the 110 F stuff (complete with haze). It's rather hard just to walk around and enjoy the night.
5. The Sounds. Day or night you'll find techno music blending not-quite-seamlessly with the constant ding of slot machines, meshing into Enya and show tunes. ALL AT TOP VOLUME. I'm guessing that people with hangovers would not enjoy this somuch.
6. The Decor. It never takes more money to look tacky than it does in Vegas. I spent 2 days looking out at a peach hotel ballroom with gold chandeliers, red and green carpet, and purple chairs. It's true that hotel ballrooms are universally ugly, but this was supposed to be a "classy" place. The Wynn even presumes to sell its "art".
7. Crowds. People everywhere. Even in New York, where the crowds are more (or equally) dense, it doesn't FEEL like you're in such a closed in crowd. Oh--and smoking in public buildings doesn't help the I-hate-people side of me.
8. The Cable. As previously mentioned: 5 Japanese channels and no FX (for Rescue Me) and no BRAVO (for Project Runway), there are, however, two identical copies of TBS and two of CNN.
9. The Gambling. This is a total "me" thing. I don't dig gambling. I don't really dig how people act when they win a lot, or when they lose a lot.
10. The Fact that the Entire Concept of the City is Based on Having and/or Acquiring Ridiculous Amounts of Wealth. To really, really have fun in Vegas, you need to have the freedom to spend a ton of cash. Yeah, that pretty much sums it up.
To be fair:
1. Various Bellagio Attractions. Who really doesn't like sparkly, glittery fountains that squirt in time to music? They also have this natural plant-made mini-replica village and train set in the gardens that I just want to live in.
2. The Hours. You can get things late at night.
3. The Dress Code. Yay! Time to dress like a slut!
4. Ummm... Well, it's really not THAT bad. The airport is close to the strip and such....
Eh, who am I kidding, I'm such a whiner.
In no particular order:
1. Bachelorette Parties. I don't mind the bachelor parties so much, for the most part they tend to stay in their own little world--ogling gals, drinking and gambling. Bachelorette parties, however, tent to spill out onto EVERYTHING with their giggly, vapid, slutty selves. Teehee!
2. The Smell. Our hotel (TI) is "scented". This means that at any time, day or night, you get the nauseating smell of coconut. Don't get me wrong, for the first 4 minutes it's refreshing in that, "Oh, isn't that nice that they thought about atmosphere" kind of way. After 4 days and nights of coconut, you want to beat someone. The smell also changes every 5 steps outside--from vomit to overcooked food, to bubble gum, to dirty diapers.
3. The Cost. I paid $45 for chicken noodle soup, a slice of apple pie, and a scoop of ice cream. Seriously. Everything here is uber-expensive (this ties into reason #10) and nothing here is worth it (except maybe that fab Cartier necklace in the window at the Wynn).
4. The Weather. It's already 100 F at 8:00 a.m. I love my outside time, but I just can't take hours upon hours of the 110 F stuff (complete with haze). It's rather hard just to walk around and enjoy the night.
5. The Sounds. Day or night you'll find techno music blending not-quite-seamlessly with the constant ding of slot machines, meshing into Enya and show tunes. ALL AT TOP VOLUME. I'm guessing that people with hangovers would not enjoy this somuch.
6. The Decor. It never takes more money to look tacky than it does in Vegas. I spent 2 days looking out at a peach hotel ballroom with gold chandeliers, red and green carpet, and purple chairs. It's true that hotel ballrooms are universally ugly, but this was supposed to be a "classy" place. The Wynn even presumes to sell its "art".
7. Crowds. People everywhere. Even in New York, where the crowds are more (or equally) dense, it doesn't FEEL like you're in such a closed in crowd. Oh--and smoking in public buildings doesn't help the I-hate-people side of me.
8. The Cable. As previously mentioned: 5 Japanese channels and no FX (for Rescue Me) and no BRAVO (for Project Runway), there are, however, two identical copies of TBS and two of CNN.
9. The Gambling. This is a total "me" thing. I don't dig gambling. I don't really dig how people act when they win a lot, or when they lose a lot.
10. The Fact that the Entire Concept of the City is Based on Having and/or Acquiring Ridiculous Amounts of Wealth. To really, really have fun in Vegas, you need to have the freedom to spend a ton of cash. Yeah, that pretty much sums it up.
To be fair:
1. Various Bellagio Attractions. Who really doesn't like sparkly, glittery fountains that squirt in time to music? They also have this natural plant-made mini-replica village and train set in the gardens that I just want to live in.
2. The Hours. You can get things late at night.
3. The Dress Code. Yay! Time to dress like a slut!
4. Ummm... Well, it's really not THAT bad. The airport is close to the strip and such....
Eh, who am I kidding, I'm such a whiner.
