Apr. 18th, 2017 12:21 am
pen_grunt: (Default)
Every single time I stare down this barrel of a blank page and I think: Not this time. This time nothing will come. How do I possibly make a script out of what I have? How can I possibly have original ideas left? (This time, the seventh year of a show...)

Through some miraculous conjuring of mindset and momentum it all comes together. There is always some tap in my mind that once turned flows freely.  And yet it always starts out this way. The trick is in the turning. 

I don't think of myself as having a particularly artistic temperament. At least not in the traditional sense. In the constant need to create, maybe, for I'm always doodling or scribbling or piecing something together and without that I feel lost and stagnant. 

But in this sense--in that major crisis of confidence that doesn't trust a wealth of past experience--it seems very mercurial. 
It will flow. It always does. It will be beautiful and funny and men will sing my praises from the rooftops (well, um. not that, maybe). But it's always so damned hard to start. 
pen_grunt: (Death of Salesman Animated)
So I was already refurb-ing the website for my company tonight (I didn't get it all done today and it's due tomorrow).

At about 12:00 a.m. my boss sends me an urgent message. Can I help him do a proposal that's due at 8:30 a.m. tomorrow morning? Everything he's writing looks like it should be on LOL cat pictures.

Of course.

Boss: It won't take you long. I did the structure This is perfect for your skills: Take the words I barfed out and turn it into cake. or pie.
Me: Okay.
Boss: Any question?
Me: Not yet. Let me get this straight: Take crap. Make good. Get bonus. Right?
Boss: LOL. We'll talk.
pen_grunt: (Jesus Understood)
It's really depressing to think that I'm going to get on a plane, sleep fitfully (or not sleep at all), wake up (or land), be in Minneapolis, take a cab, arrive at work, and then shoot for 8 hours.

Maybe not depressing. Exhausting. Yes. It makes me tired to think of it. Good thing, maybe it'll help me sleep on the plane.

Additionally: I'm dreading flying with an ear infection which, after the last few flights I've had in a short period of time, I'm now certain I have. Ear infections do not count as being sick for me. I get them all the time. They're just really, really annoying.

Avast, Ye!

Jan. 18th, 2007 09:39 pm
pen_grunt: (Too Silly)
Gratuitious backstage pirate pic:

The guy with the controls is an impersonator--you can guess who he's supposed to be. The character on screen is our pirate (I like to think of him as my pirate). The impersonator does NOT do the pirate voice, we just got him back there for a photo op.

I'm Beat.

Jan. 18th, 2007 09:38 pm
pen_grunt: (Can't Brain Have the Dumb)
Just a quickish post--I'm fading fast after being up since around 5 a.m. and working til

I wanted to expound upon the ocean and all the wonderful things you can think (whoa, I just went Doctor Seuss for a second there) while walking along an abandoned white sand beach at night--but it seems trite to put it into words. Maybe I'll type up something later.

We were bumped from the 4 star convention hotel to the 5 star hotel on the beach (and received a $100 hotel gift card--good at the shops and such--for my "troubles")--not a bad trade all in all. The hotel, however, does some funny things. For instance:

--They insist on putting me in a handicapped room, which has been a disturbing trend amongst hotels I've stayed in recently. Do I look "special" or something?

--They lay out two sets of slippers and two robes at night in their turn-down service. I'm in a single.

--They keep moving my pajamas (which were either on the bed or the floor) to different places each day. I found them stuffed in the top of a closet one day, on my nightstand the next, and in the set of drawers another night. It's a fun game--find your clothes. . .

--They keep picking up my other clothes off the floor and folding my dirty socks. This is extremely disconcerting to me.

It's a grand hotel though--ocean view, suite, full kitchen, etc. Overall, one of the nicer hotels I've been at.

Oh, I just found out that I'm going to Palm Springs, CA in February here. Ack!
pen_grunt: (Family Guy--Accusing Monkey)
Sometimes work brings truly random things. The benefit of doing part of an event that is, in part, supposed to be a treat or reward for the attendees is that some of the cool stuff in the periphery of the meeting can touch you sometimes.

That being said...seriously...monkeys.

Monkeying Around at Work... )


Jan. 12th, 2007 03:46 am
pen_grunt: (kirk fuck it)
3:41 a.m. and I just got done working for the night.

Well, not so much done per se, as "as-done-as-I'm-gonna-get-tonight-so-there".

Wish me luck staying awake in our ohmygodbigimportantscriptmeeting tomorrow.

There shall be coffee. There must be coffee. Dear God Please Let There Be Coffee!

I leave for Marco Island, Florida on Monday at 7:10 a.m. I can hear the script clock ticking away.

It's always incredibly busy the few days at work leading up to a show, but overall, it's a nice-feeling, good kind of busy.
pen_grunt: (Death Chess)
Dear Self,

For future reference:

I don't care if call time IS 5:30 a.m... do NOT drink a cup of coffee and a Diet Coke (and a half) before a 3 hour general session in which you cannot (under any circumstances) leave your post.


Oh, and P.S. If the call time is 5:30 a.m. you need to go to bed a tad earlier than 2:00 a.m.

Note to self addendum: Sew top button hole on shirt partially closed so the button will not pop out every 10 seconds exposing bra. Particularly when talking to presenters.

I've noticed this before about this shirt, but every time I pack to go on a trip I forget this little caveat.
pen_grunt: (Coppertone Girl)
Woohoo! I came home yesterday to a huge surprise. I had totally forgotten that writing a book entailed getting royalties. So I get this check in the mail.

There's nothing better than unexpected, unplanned for, unbudgeted money :)

Of course, it's not that much, and I just had to replace the deck on my treadmill (yeah, I found out yesterday that I have literally RUN DOWN and completely through the padding on the deck). So easy come, easy go.

Well, not "easy" come, but hey, I have a forgiving memory and I don't remember all the hard work anymore.

I'm at the Omni in Orlando. Nice rooms, good food, freakin' expensive. There's a wedding going on tonight and I'm doing the petty/catty, "I'm gonna look better than that bride" thing.

Anyhoo, off to write the CEO's presentation. La-ti-da. I really need a digital camera to bring on shows. Whoa, I'm random tonight. Must be the air travel.


Sep. 22nd, 2006 01:05 am
pen_grunt: (Family Guy--Accusing Monkey)
Dear Boss,

You can't tell me to fill in and expand your document (that's due--hard-n-fast deadline--at 9:00 a.m. tomorrow), then choose not to give me the document until well past 12:00 a.m.

Especially when it will be 10+ pages of detail work.

Not happening.

There is something called getting documents to me at a reasonable time--or pushing back the deadline (which, in this case, we really can't do).

Thank you,


P.S. Still waiting. . .
P.P.S. I'm seriously going to bed soon.
pen_grunt: (Nigga Please)
We actually had a semi-eventful day at work today. By semi-eventful I mean "shit got stolen" and the cops were called.

We're on the 13th floor of a mostly-empty (being renovated for offices) building in Minneapolis. We don't typically lock the doors to the office during the day because someone is usually there, and we've never really had the need.

Today our receptionist came back from lunch to find a 60-ish man milling around the reception desk. He made up some story about looking for a particular office, or trying to find directions, or whatever other bull he decided to pass off as small talk. After small talk, he decides to leave. It's then that our receptionist noticed that her wallet (which was around her desk area) was missing. She decides to follow the guy--who was the only person who could have taken her wallet.

It turns out the guy dumped the wallet on the 10th floor after finding out there was no loose cash. ANYWAY, our receptionist calls security and they detain the guy, who looks at our receptionist and says, "This is because I'm black, isn't it? You're accusing me because I'm black?"

Our (black) receptionist looks at him and says, "No, I'm accusing you because you TOOK my freaking wallet, that's why I'm accusing you of taking it."

This also manages to royally piss everyone off--it'd be like me saying: "You're being snotty." and the intended saying, "You're just saying that because I'm a girl." NO, I'm saying it because you're being snotty you stupid b*tch :) Playing the "I'm a persecuted racial group" card does NOT work when you've actually committed the crime.

To which the guy responds, "I'm getting too old for this shit."

Yes, yes you are. Apparently if you can't pull off a smooth wallet swipe anymore, you ARE losing your touch.

We're now locking our office doors even during business hours. Sad.
pen_grunt: (Newhart Phone)
Scripting late consistently is reinforcing my idea that I really need to invest in a few things:

--A separate work space so I don't have to type on my bed and startle a terrified, sleeping Derrick every time I sputter or mutter or gasp. Poor guy. If I were him I would kill me by now. I also like to listen to music when I'm working--he claims it doesn't bother him. I mean we technically have an office, but the chair is horrible and all the flat surfaces are much too high to sit at and type.

--A really, really supportive, comfy chair that keeps me upright enough to work, yet is cushy enough to stay in for hours at a time. I honestly (seriously) bruised my rear today whilst sitting in my chair at work for so long in one position. I got up and the butt was numb. I ran on the treadmill tonight and I had that weird deep-muscle soreness.

--A lap tray table of some sort so I don't feel like I'm sterilizing myself by setting my hot (it burns!) laptop on my abdomen all the time.

--Snacks. Good snacks. I ran out of carrot sticks (my preferred work-food) and have had to resort to dry raw noodles (the key here is crunchy...if it crunches I want to stick it in my mouth while working).

I also want some things:

--Fair deadlines. Telling me that THREE separate scripts for three separate shows are all due on the same day (in some cases, only a day from the first major edits) is SO not cool. I've already done 2 scripts (Feeling=accomplished) but I have one left to go (feeling=dread...especially since it's the longest, hardest, most involved script and it's already 2 a.m.). The thing is, the deadline didn't have to be tomorrow, but my boss has a habit of underestimating the time it takes to do things (both in projects, and in life), and throwing out promises left and right.

--A little help please? I went from being the part-time freelancer to being the ONLY staff writer right before 5 major shows in the month. Oh no, you didn't...but yes, you did.

--My clients NOT to have my personal home phone number, or a direct line of contact with me at all. Calling 3 times a night when I'm trying to do ANOTHER client's script is NOT cool, not cool at all.

*blows bangs up*

Diggin' in. But first, I must get crunchy noodles.
pen_grunt: (Kirk-mad as hell)
Does it ever occur to bosses that when they f*ck around with your job responsibilities, they shouldn't do it right before they go out of town for a week? I mean, I'm now sort of floundering in this, "I don't want to do anything, but I have to do everything," sort of space. So I'm sorta floating in job-no-man's land. It's a worse place than job-I-hate land (if that's even possible).

In other news, my boss made someone ELSE cry today. This makes me feel better, because it's not just me then. The OTHER boss mentioned--as I totally broke down in his office last week--that he used to make his co-workers cry all the time and he didn't know why.

Whew, it's not just me. I'm not really a crier, so I was starting to think I was on the edge of a nervous breakdown there. *shrug* Well, I may still be, but it's not because of the crying.


At any rate, I survived Dallas yet again. The worst thing in the world (I've now decided) is feeling sick BEFORE you get on a plane, and knowing that you're going to have to board and spend 3+ hours in the air REALLY trying not to be nauseous. No place to lay down, no way to recline, crammed like a little sardine next to someone with really strong perfume, the only bathroom in the back (for us lowly people) having witnessed someone exploding in it earlier and therefore being vomit-inducing for even those people that felt okay to begin with.

The bonus was that I apparently looked so pathetic that the flight attendants didn't bother to tell me to put my "seats and tray tables in their upright and locked position", nor did they make an issue about my carry-on stuff being sort of sprawled about me instead of under the seat like I was supposed to have it.

Alright, time to drum up the motivation to do something.

Methinks carrot sticks will help.
pen_grunt: (Knights)
Dallas. Again. Seriously people. After the (very, very) rough/tough week I've had, traveling is really the last possible thing I want to do. And yet, it means that I don't have to be in the office--so it's the only thing I should do right now.

This time I'm actually a tad disappointed that we don't have more "bumper" time. It's a one-night stay in a hotel I actually enjoy (the Hilton Anatole--not too posh, but with 100x nicer decor than the standard pastel hotel fare). I've been in this hotel before, and coming here again makes me think of the previous hell-type event I was at (disasters abound!). It's funny that I can still remember which event goes with each hotel. It IS starting to blur together a bit, and it seems the more places I visit, the more that they seem different in the exact same way. Maybe this is the curse of only having traveled for business and never for vacation or pleasure--places rarely hold their own special kind of vibe.

The three places in the US that I've actually enjoyed the MOST whilst working:
1. Monterey, CA (it was the frolicking ocean otters that seduced me, mostly...and Cannery Row)
2. Philadelphia, PA (a city with a great vibe)
3. New Orleans, LA (pre-Hurricane Katrina, lucky me)

Of course, Montreal Canada has my undying affection for non-business travel.

Two interesting airport things:
1. Auto-soap dispensers. You're already dealing with auto-faucets where you have to kind of keep waving your hands around to make them work, but then you add in an auto-soap dispenser that keeps randomly and arbitrarily vomiting soap (not in the general vicinity of your hands) and it makes for a jolly good time.
2. The please put your bomb back in your car sign. I travel so much that I barely read airport security signs anymore--I know what I can and can't do/bring on/wear through the security screening already. However, this sign caught my eye.

In big text at the top, it said: "The following items are prohibited".

It then had pictures (without text descriptions) of things that weren't allowed. There were the standards: a knife, a gun, a scissors, etc., but then there was a picture of a bomb with a lit fuse.

It then said: "If you are carrying any of these items, please check them with an attendant, or return them to your car."

You seriously want me to put my bomb back in my car in the airport parking garage? Really?

I'm always amazed how many adults at the airport are flying for the FIRST time (or for the first time in YEARS). It seems such a natural thing to me that seeing their confusion and disorientation is kind of puzzling. It's okay, you really don't have to be at the airport 5 hours early if you can help it (especially not with small, bored-too-easily children). Yes, you really have to take your shoes off. Yes, you have to remove your bag from your shoulder as you're going through security screening. No, just because you've been selected for screening doesn't mean they think you're a terrorist--it just means they hate you.
pen_grunt: (Oh hell)
Shit really hit the fan at work today. As of yet, I just can't (and don't really want to) talk about it. Well, it's not that I'm forbidden or anything like that--I just can't bring myself to do it.

Lessons for the masses:

1. It's not really that much harder to say "give them an incentive" instead of "incentivize". Please people. It's not okay to "verbize" everything.

2. When I'm right about people talking about me, it's not being paranoid. It's being perceptive.
Me: What were you talking to boss2 about?
Boss1: Uhh...
Me: Were you talking about me?
Boss1: You're paranoid.
Me: Okay, then what were you talking about then?
Boss1: You.
Me: Then it's not called being paranoid, it's called being RIGHT.

I feel like hell and I've got a script to write. That concludes this cheery message.
pen_grunt: (Newhart Phone)
Is it really that difficult to get your air conditioner set correctly in an office building?

I turned on my portable heater today. It's maybe 83 degrees (F) outside. Perhaps it's about 55 degress (F) in my office, and after lunch I was shivering. Why do they have to crank the air conditioning system up to max whenever the slightest warmth creeps into the atmosphere?

Gone are the days when you could open windows at work--and I understand this, somewhat. After all, if you can open a window on the 34th floor, what's to stop depressed high-level execs from jumping out on the spur-of-the-moment?

Lawd knows I've been there. I guess if the access were easy enough we'd all be throwing ourselves off the top floor of the office building. After all, Kundera says that vertigo is not the fear of heights, but rather the intense desire to fall.

But still--damn you air conditioning. I miss the real air. You know, from like...outside and stuff.
pen_grunt: (Knights)
My co-worker wrote this poem for me:

The Life of a Toilet Paper Roll

by: C.A. [Name withheld to protect privacy]

I once was covered in white,
and placed in plain view sight.
'Round and 'round I went,
until my sheets were spent.
Now thin and brown I have become,
my days I fear are nearly done.
So without a purpose and a bowl,
I'm just an empty paper roll.


I'm inspiring. I do believe that it's quite good. We have this thing about giving each other all our empty toilet paper rolls (don't's just...yeah...y'all already know I'm weird). They were originally going to be part of the habitat for our office mouse (which we never got), and now I'm saving them up, decorating them, and putting baby-stuff in them for her baby shower. (Again, don't ask.)
pen_grunt: (Too Silly)
SO very random:

Randomness #1: About a half an hour ago, I licked an envelope to send a "Congrats on the new baby!" card off to my cousin [Baby Name for this one: Nathan James--I like it!]. For some reason, I can STILL taste the adhesive in my mouth and it doesn't taste delish with coffee. It tastes rotten something-or-another. Blech.

Randomness #2: I keep dreaming about my fish dying. Not random fish dying, MY fish dying. In the dreams they're in a smaller-than-they-need container of some sort (usually a plastic bag, or a tiny clear aquarium) and they're floating on the top because of something I've done wrong (too much/too little heat, food, attention, etc.). What does this mean?

Randomness #3: About a book )

Randomness #4: Friday!

Randomness #5: I just looked at my paystub and discovered that I have over 4 weeks of vacation time and over 2 weeks of sick time for this year. That being said, I haven't taken more than a day off (and non-vacation comp days at that) in about 2 years. Honeymoon in Europe? Errr...not thinking about THAT right now.

Edit: Randomness #6: YAY! I just found my eyeliner that I had bought at Target on Monday. It had mysteriously disappeared in the bowels of my office and I just... couldn't... find it. It was in a box of organic fruit strips--though I'm not entirely sure how it could have possibly ended up there.
pen_grunt: (Modern Times)
Happy first day of summer. For some reason there's a sort of sadness to the end of spring for me. Spring is fresh and cool and green. Summer, however, is sorta muggy and slow and far too short. Oh well. Bring on the summer.

My [male] boss has a big presentation today, and I'm SO glad he decided to run one of his lame jokes by me before he proceeded with the not-so-funny drivel.

Boss [rehearsing presentation]: We remember more when we're in an extreme emotional state because your adrenaline triggers chemicals in your brain in the area that stores memory. Think back to an extremely emotional many people remember their first kiss? I know I do...

...and so does the guy I was with at the time.

[badump bump ching]

I told him that gay jokes were so passe, and the particular joke of pretending to have been gay is just...not funny. I can't really explain what it's SO VERY not funny to me, but it's borderline offensive that he thinks that a scenario in which his first kiss was with a guy would be funny. It's ridiculous.

My other duty of the day? Our new sales guy (who was going on this superbigimportantOMG! meeting with my boss) came up to me and asked me to please brush the dandruff off of my boss's suit before he left. He said that, "I was the only person that could get away with that kind of thing." He also pleaded, saying, "I know you don't get paid 1/1000 of the amount that would be needed to have such a job...." All I'm thinking is that if I got paid 1000x more than I do now, I would probably be okay with brushing dandruff off of someones suit all day.

Which means that I'm supremely qualified to brush dandruff off of people. Lemme know if you're in the market. *shudder* Gross.


Jun. 5th, 2006 11:38 pm
pen_grunt: (Default)
Ha! I managed to have a full work-overhaul conversation with the boss-man (or one of them, anyway) without bursting into tears. This is an accomplishment. Not that anything else changed or was accomplished, but I consider the no-tears a huge achievement relatively speaking. It's all terribly embarrassing, but I'm SURE I'm not the only person that's been there. Well, maybe. Usually guys don't end up bursting into uncontrollable tears in front of their bosses. I suck this week.

Trying to stay awake.

Working on script.

Have a headache--and ONE nostril....just stuffed up.

Welcome Monsieur Stress Cold, how long will you be staying with me? Shall I send up nasal spray courtesy of the concierge? Perhaps a nightcap? *wicked giggle*

I do find it a tad...ehem...ironic that I'm actually starting to get sick when I was joking about taking a faux-sick mental-health day. Serves me right... Girl who cried wolf... Blah blah blah...Etc.


pen_grunt: (Default)

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